Its 3:46 in the morning, the end of December.
I’m Writing to you now to let you know that our friendship was over the moment you walked into class 3 years ago without making eye contact.
I clearly remember that day, and how confused i was
because i don’t remember doing anything to piss you off
but you were mad and i didn’t know why.
Even when we ‘made up’ things could never be the way they were before.
There is nothing you and i could do to fix our shattered friendship.
November 9, 2016 at 1:42 am
Hey Amany,
This piece had a lot of emotion, and I dare to say catharsis in it. To me this piece seemed very personal, creating a sense of relatability to the reader. The conflict in this piece leads to many questions, which is a great way to build suspense (and maybe even a follow up piece)
As for improvements, the piece could be longer, as it does not fit the minimum word requirement. You could do this by either adding to the story or by writing a response to it. Also, there are GUMPS errors, though these may be a stylistic choice.
Overall, a great start, and more should be on the way.
-Lucas